There is just nothing quite like it. Amongst the bustle, a sunken cylinder with half of itself showing above ground. Housed in its face, another ode to a simpler time, a clock indicating the time until adventure. Pulling open the door and stepping across the threshold into a traveller’s holy ground. Long and narrow, the illusion of perspective has the eye follow lengths of benches through the concourse to the ticket window. All walks of life represented on these benches. O the stories they could tell. The dramatic vaulted ceiling. Tick tick tick tick tick tick. The walls are alive with letters flipping, revealing a catalogue of possibilities. Hundreds of souls burning with the anticipation for experience. Thousands of eyes watching the hands of the clock click closer to departure. At last, bags on back, the time has come. Again the eyes playing tricks as endless sets of parallel lines lead to a boundless horizon of possibility. Steam billowing, adding drama to a scene already brimming with excitement. Counting carriages replicated one after the other. Unsure whether in reality or a dream, a voice yells “all aboard!” As hands wrap around railing, one last look back to remember a city left behind and a lunge onto the stairway of rocketing rails. A jolt and a glide, ready to be delivered to the next stage of adventure.

The overnight train to Chiang Mai. It wasn’t the cheapest or the quickest option. But as far as we were concerned, it was the only option. Economics aside, there is no better way to immerse yourself in the experience of travel than to take a train to your next destination. It is the perfect combination of romance, efficient transportation and observing a country from a new perspective. We were super excited. The ride itself was around 14 hours, mostly through the night, but we knew we would inevitably encounter a new experience on the train and that we would wake up to the sun amongst the jungle of northern Thailand. What shouldn’t have really come as a surprise was how our train carriage pretty much turned out to be a rolling hostel comprised mostly of young travellers. Our train car was one long walkway with seats facing each other in sets of two. However after a couple of hours into the journey, a staff member, with unbelievable quickness and efficiency, came through the carriage and converted the seats into bunk beds. Bedding is provided in the ticket cost, so with a quick slide of a vibrant pink curtain, one suddenly has a semi-private sleeping nook. Although the nook could be categorized as “cozy”, the curtain was unfortunately not made of lead therefore when the stranger in the top bunk happens to have a small bladder and too many friends in surrounding bunks, one will find it hard to sleep and relatively alarming when the person who was above you when you went to bed wasn’t the same as the one that was there when you woke up. But if there is ever a time to be woken up early, witnessing the sun inching its way over the canopy of a lush green mountain range isn’t so bad. We rode through a number of primitive villages and finally arrived in Chiang Mai to begin what turned out to be a wild couple of days.

From everything we had heard and read, it felt like Chiang Mai was the adventure capital of Thailand. It is the main city in the north and young people, both Thai and backpackers, seem to flock there. It is a small town compared to a city like Bangkok, but a number of the locals we met actually left Bangkok in search of a quieter, slower paced lifestyle. The Old City is a 1.5 km square that comprises the main touristy areas in the city. When you look at it on a map you can see the waterway forming the square that used to be a wall and moat for protection from enemies in ancient times. There are still portions of the wall remaining and the moat is now a waterway straddled by the main roads through Chiang Mai. Our first day was spent exploring the town and visiting some of the local temples, three of which in the Old City are considered the most important religious centres in Northern Thailand. Wat Phra Singh was a beautiful temple with many sites to visit across the grounds. This is a study centre for young monks, so it was interesting to walk amongst hundreds of orange robes and witness their teachings. Having many other travellers around obviously changed the vibe, but to make a comparison it was similar to the feel of walking a campus at a school you do not study at. A bit out of place, but the strong sense of being surrounded by people on a quest for knowledge. After spending the afternoon touring around and drinking Leo’s in the sun we returned to the hotel and prepared for an evening of epic proportions. At the time we were expecting a fun night out. Little did we know fate had something much more interesting in mind. We were going to a lady boy show.

Go to the lady boy show, they said. You’ll have so much fun, they said. Well after many recommendations, and city guides and locals saying the same, we had to check out the famous local drag show. Outside of Bangkok and Phuket, this was one of the biggest shows in Thailand and a pretty classic traveller attraction. We always had fun experiences when we attended drag shows in Vancouver, so in all seriousness we were looking forward to it. The show was held just off of a main market street and inside a relatively nondescript bar with a main stage. Some of the talent were serving drinks before the show so we ordered a couple of Chang’s and chose, what we thought, was a strategic table location. Since this wasn’t our first rodeo, we knew the culture was similar to stand up comedy, i.e. if you don’t want to get messed with, don’t sit in the front. We were nestled between a few other groups of travellers, so we were confident that we were in good shape. The show began with much fan fare and excitement. As I said, we thought we knew what these types of shows were all about, but Thailand is on another level. The production value was top notch. I’m talkin’ costume design, multiple back-up dancers, lip sync skill, song mixing, makeup quality. These ladies knew how to put on a show. But just when we were starting to settle in…Rihanna hit the stage.

Now I don’t feel it is at all a stretch to say that this performer was, I kid you not, an 8/10 Rihanna. No joke, RiRi needs to check her family tree because she may have a Thai cousin. Due to what ended up happening, my memory is a bit fuzzy as to what song came on, but to help paint the picture just imagine any Rihanna song and some sort of leather costume she would be likely to wear. The performance begins and again, we are treated to a very professional and entertaining performance. We aren’t thinking much of it, huddled in our populated section, when she slowly makes her way into the crowd. Singing and dancing amongst the patrons, she weaves her way through the tables and high chairs. Eyes are glued to her as cheers and clapping follow her around the room. She works her way almost back to the stage when it happens. She turns around and makes direct eye contact with me. I immediately go wide-eyed and know that I have been caught. I am about to become victim to this show like the hundreds of suckers before me. Without missing a beat, she makes a beeline, grabs my hand and starts to pull me towards the stage. She sits me down into a chair. Hooting and hollering emanates from the crowd. The blindingly bright lights warm my face. But I can’t see a thing…except Rihanna. The song continues and the lap dance portion of the performance begins. We are all smiling and laughing, having a good time when suddenly the Caribbean Queen stops and stands behind me. I’m facing the crowd and unsure what’s coming next. Two hands grasp my arms and raise them above my head. The beat drops and she pulls my shirt off to the delight of the audience. Unsure whether their reaction is due to the pain caused by the bright lights ricocheting off of my pale chest or out of joy for this happening to a complete stranger instead of themselves, I was now tops off and blindfolded on stage at a lady boy show in Thailand. O ya, she blindfolded me with the shirt. As I patiently wait half naked on stage for the next act, a sudden roar from the crowd indicates it is about to begin. More lap dancing, but new music. And something else has changed. Fear and blindness have all of my other senses on high alert. Bang, the blindfold is ripped off and a flood of light washes over me. My eyes adjust and peekaboo, another crowd roar and there is now a completely different performer straddling me. The performance turns into a duet and I am serenaded aggressively by two lovely ladies punctuated by one forcibly pushing the others head directly into my crotch for what I would like to think is the shows pinnacle moment of entertainment for anyone not sitting in that chair. The song ends and I gratefully accepted the biggest cheer of the night. I thanked my ladies for the memorable experience and the host approached me while walking off to present me with a beer and a thank you for being a good sport. I was slapping high fives all the way back to my seat only to find an ear to ear grin on Katie’s face and a panicked explanation of how she missed half of it because while attempting to film the ordeal, realized her phone memory was maxed out. But don’t worry, there is video proof that this actually took place, and for a significantly large sum of money, you can see it for yourself! The show ended shortly after and we made our way through the night market to try and walk off some of the adrenaline. It wasn’t until one of us noticed the face sized circle of bronze make up painted onto the crotch of my shorts that one of us decided, guess who, that it was time to head back to the hotel for a shower and some laundry. Thirteen showers later and the glitter remained. But you know what they say, what happens in Chiang Mai, ends up being written about exhaustively in your personal blog.

Our next couple of days would be considered “mellow” in comparison to the previous night’s festivities, but no less memorable. One of our original goals for our trip was to attend a cooking class in each country we visited. Food is so ingrained in Southeast Asian culture that it felt like the proper way to experience it at a deeper level was to learn the nuances through a cooking class. Chiang Mai is well known for its cooking schools, so we negotiated and booked what was a wonderful excursion through our hotel. We were picked up bright and early and driven with other travellers to a local market where after choosing what we wanted to cook, were given an education on Thai ingredients through our guide and the local vendors. A quick drive out of the city and into the surrounding villages we arrived at the paddy field and cooking school. The cooking area was a large covered space beautifully surrounded by rice paddies. In the summer seasons the teachers actually take students into the fields to pick their own rice and vegetables for the class. Since we were in the rainy season, we were given the market experience instead. We had a lovely time cooking and after learning various Thai techniques, made a delicious meal enjoyed in a wonderfully authentic setting.

Our final day in Chiang Mai was absolutely jam-packed and became one of the best days of our entire trip. It was another excursion, but this time with another local favourite: elephants. We had learned a bit about the controversy surrounding elephant tourism, so we were careful when planning. Certain companies, and individuals, have put the health and safety of the animals second to the opportunity to make a dollar. Tourists from around the world want the instagram photo of them sitting on top of these stunning creatures, therefore the economics of a third world country lead to a difficult debate when tourism meets poverty. We were committed to finding a company that treated the elephants properly and we ended up doing just that. Yet again an early morning pick up, but this time instead of a comfortable air conditioned van, we were loaded into the back of a pick up truck. Chiang Mai has an interesting transit option where glorified pick up tricks with lightly padded seats lining the truck bed drive their way around the city for people to hop on and off at quickly negotiated fares. We were excited to finally ride in one, until we found out that it was going to be an hour and a half to the elephant sanctuary. Ninety minutes, a fair amount of rain and a bunch of super sore bums later we arrived.

There was a distant rumble. A scattering of birds. Peaking around the truck, a fumbling bumbling mumbling of words. Humbled we were. The gentle giant of the jungle, not ten feet from the old girl. What a world we have the privilege to witness.

The truck stopped abruptly and from the amount of potholes and puddles we had been driving through, my first thought was we finally popped a tire. Instead, in a moment I don’t think I ever expected to experience in my life, the driver turns around and with one word explains the traffic stop, “elephant”. We all looked at each other in amazement and poked our heads out of the truck as quick as we could. The majestic beast standing in the middle of the road suddenly made every second of the bumpy ride worth it. We were in the jungle. And elephants lived here.

We pulled into the sanctuary and sat amongst the man made huts to learn more about this organization’s mission and to prepare medicine balls that we would soon be feeding to their three elephants. We donned what can best be described as soft denim pajamas to fully immerse ourselves in Thai elephant mode and made our way to where the animals were kept. Our first road sighting paled in comparison to the size of their male tenant. The size of his body and the lengths of his tusks were staggering. This particular company takes in elephants that have been injured or improperly cared for and work closely with the animals to rehab them back to health. One of the elephants in particular was blind, which created an intimate moment when you could see the hesitation and fear in his face when we were trying to feed him, but then the relief and building of trust when he started to smell and learn your location and understand there was no danger. All of us had smiles on our faces the entire time as these truly gentle giants had a touch as soft as a feather when their huge noses would be grabbing sugar cane out of our hands. It was such a surreal experience to interact with them up close and personal in their natural habitat instead of looking through a fence at a zoo. It felt bizarre as we walked alongside the elephants and their handlers towards the water to give them a bath. Just going for a casual walk through the trails…with elephants. By the way, all of the cartoonish stereotypes you are picturing in your mind right now about what happens when an elephant gets into the water with their buddies are true. Shooting water out of their noses onto their backs and friends and falling down sideways to create a huge, and potentially disastrous, wave pool. We gave them a real good scrub down and had a chance to look across the river at all of the other sanctuaries close by. Some of them had 10-30 elephants and hundreds of people coursing through, so we were happy we chose a more personal experience. It lived up to the hype and we were left in awe of the experience.

But although we left the storied creatures behind, our day was far from over. The “camp mom” had cooked a traditional Pad Thai for lunch and the mix of hard work and it being Pad Thai had me go in for thirds and fourths. And to finish the meal, and pretty much every meal we have had so far on our trip, was something I believe I have failed to mention thus far. Pineapple. Good heavens. The pineapple in Southeast Asia is unbelievable. Reason enough to come here. Fly in for a day, bring one dollar, get ten pineapples, go home, boom, you had a great trip. Next we loaded up the truck and took off for the second portion of the excursion, which was pretty much a throw in as far as we were concerned and we really didn’t know what to expect. First up, a nature walk. Our guide throughout the day was a lovely young woman who gave credence to Thailand’s nickname as The Land of Smiles. She was so bubbly, energetic and excited to share her culture with us and extremely knowledgeable about local plants and wildlife. Our trek turned into essentially a foraging trip as she was pointing out all of the edible plants and fruits on various greenery throughout the trail. My two favourites were a plant that after a brief chew, can be placed directly on open wounds to stop them from bleeding (more about this shortly) and a real life coffee plant! I have never actually seen a real one in the wild, so when I spotted it I was super fired up. A quick photo and then I dissected the coffee cherry all the way down to the slimy green beans. A biased and personal highlight of the day for sure.

Little did we know that our trek was actually taking us to a specific destination. Unfortunately as it turned out a tour group three times the size of ours beat us to it, but it ended up adding to the buzz of the experience. It was a natural water slide! The river we had been following had a naturally occurring 10-15 foot drop that over time created an incredibly smooth and slightly concave chute. Aka a freakin water slide. After a slightly treacherous climb up slippery rocks to get to the top, a guide was instructing people on technique and timing, but no huge surprise it was pretty loosy goosy. I took my place in the hot seat and after a few fear heart beats and a deep breath, a lunge forward and a rush of adrenaline. A ten-foot pool of water as a landing and after emerging from the water, being met by a gallery of observers with huge smiles on their faces. So much fun. We had a couple extra turns and the last slide opened a bit of a cut in my finger, so what a great opportunity to put our guide to the test! Once she realized I was excited for the experiment and not freaking out from the cut, she smiled and ran off to find the plant. I gave the cursory chew and followed her instructions. Whether it was needed or necessary, my memory will forever remember that she, and the plant, saved my life and that it was a super cool moment. A short hike back to the truck and then the last element of our tour. White water rafting!

At this point all of us can’t believe there is more we get to do. And of all things, what a crazy way to end the day. Again not a huge surprise, but the safety protocol I experienced when rafting in BC was sliiiiightly more rigorous than what we experienced here. I was handed a helmet with no strap. We can leave it at that. Down to the boats and after a quick “paddle when I yell paddle and stop when I yell stop” speech, we were off! The rapids were actually a pretty good size, but at this point we could have been floating on a pond in the middle of a rainstorm and thought it was the best thing ever, so we had tons of fun. Another pump of adrenaline and we were greeted at the end by the same set of pearly whites we have been following all day. We loaded into the truck and set off back towards Chiang Mai. As a poetic send off for our day, just as we were getting ready to drive off we spotted an elephant walking through the jungle and approaching the river across from us. It was a beautiful ending to a spectacular trip. But yet again, our day wasn’t finished quite yet.

Our bodies were exhausted after another bone jarring truck ride, but no time to relax as we quickly showered the days activities off of us and headed to another Thai bucket list item. Muay Thai Boxing. As with many of the activities in town, they are unfortunately geared a little too much towards tourists. Therefore we knew the reputation of this arena wasn’t great, i.e. throwing fights and a bit run down, but the reality of having to put on these “shows” two or three times a week makes it impossible to have a legit fight card every single time. Regardless, we were excited for the atmosphere and experience. We prearranged our tickets through the hotel and although we turned down the included tuk-tuk chauffeur (I honestly don’t remember what we were thinking. Why wouldn’t we take a free tuk-tuk ride? Such a mistake), we were shown to our seats with a great view of the ring. As we had been warned, one or two of the fights ended “prematurely” shall we say, and there was a weird almost comedy routine mid way through. But other than that there were some legitimate fights, including the main event, which was with a Chinese champion, so we were able to experience some proper Muay Thai.

It was only a few days, but everything about our Chiang Mai experience was non-stop fun. It lived up to its reputation and provided us memories that will absolutely last a lifetime. We could have easily stayed longer and experienced more, but we were cautious of adding on extra days at the beginning of our trip because we knew we would have to sacrifice something later on. And all the more reason to come back to this wonderful place some day.

It was time to fly south. Phuket.